What can you do about school anxiety?

School can be an anxiety provoking place for many children for many reasons.

• Do you see your child experiencing big emotions, such as anxiety, sadness, or irritability before the school week starts, in the morning, or during school?
• Has your child ever said they had a headache or stomachache, so they could get out of going to school?

If you answered yes, to any of these questions, you are not alone. Studies have shown that anxiety is on the rise in children and teenagers and this anxiety can be amplified in a school environment.

Here are some tips to help your child overcome school anxiety:

1. Establish a Routine

Children who are anxious or have a hard time focusing do seemingly well with a routine because they know what to expect. There are not any ‘unknowns’. Anxiety thrives in the unknown and feelings of not being in control.

Work with your child or teen to create a plan/routine during the night before school and the morning of. By allowing your child to help establish a routine, this lessens the fear of the unknown and allows them to feel in control by being involved in the process.

2. Talk about big feelings/emotions

Keep an open communication pathway between you and your child so they feel comfortable talking about big emotions they may be feeling. Keeping a feelings chart at home (one with the faces on it) can help your child pinpoint a feeling they may not be able to describe. The feelings chart can also help children communicate their feelings to you if they do not feel like talking about it.

3. Positive affirmations/ positive pathways

This skill can lower your child’s anxiety in the long run by building up their self-esteem/ self confidence and teaching their minds that, while uncomfortable things may happen, it does not mean only uncomfortable or negative things happen. To utilize this skill, at the end of the night or after school, have your child list or write out 1-3 good things that happened to them in the day or 1-3 things they liked about the day.

4. Overstimulation

Many children can be overstimulated at school for many reasons. Overstimulation can cause your child to become anxious, irritable, unable to focus or unable to

remain still. If your child’s school allows it, a fidget toy is helpful in breaking the child’s mind away from the overstimulating environment. Having cold water to drink can also help with overstimulation.

5. Planning ahead to deal with stress or anxiety

If your child or teen has something coming up at school that is causing anxiety, such as a test, presentation, or event at school, have them come up with a game plan to help ease the stress.

What is the event? What are they hoping will happen? How confident are they about the event? What will they do the day before and the morning of the event to prepare? What skills can they use if they get nervous? Have them come up with an encouraging motto that they can use, like “I’ve got this.” “I am brave.” “I am smart.”

6. Grounding

This is a skill that can help with anxiety, overstimulation, and staying in the present moment. This is where you use your senses and describe in detail what you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell. The 5-4-3-2-1 method is what I usually recommend for a grounding exercise.

You name:

• 5 things you see,
• 4 things you can feel,
• 3 things you can hear,
• 2 things you can taste,
• 1 thing you can smell.

For example: I feel the desk is hard, smooth and cold. I can hear the teacher talking, the voice sounds loud. I can see a whiteboard, in the front of the class, with black writing on it. Etc.

These are just a few skills that can help your child with school anxiety. If you continue to notice your child struggle, it is okay to reach out for help from the school or a professional to help come up with a more individualized plan for your child. There are always options. There is always hope.